Hey guise. So, there’s this thingy at the end of the year at my school called The Social. No cool title, just a great big The. I mean, you try naming it. Big Dancy Thingy Where At Least Three Girls End Up Crying In The Bathroom And Someone Spikes The Drinks? Not as catchy as The Social.
It’s like a Prom-in-training for middle schoolers. Only eighth graders, though. All the girls put on their
shortest prettiest dresses and guys rent tuxedos and stuff. The whole nine yards. Only, I don’t really like to think of it as a prom-in-training, I think of it as a dancey-thingy where you just dress fancier. I look at it this way because honestly? No one will ask me to go with them. And if the stars align and the Improbability Drive is switched on and I DO manage to get a date, it will go something like this:
Me: “oh hey.”
Date: “hey. excited?”
Me: “yeeup. you?”
Me: “wow look at that tree. it’s quite tall.”
Date: “hey our ride’s here.”
Me: “k cool.”
So I’m just planning to grab all my single friends, hop in a van, go to the social, then McDonald’s, and then find a place to crash. And in my head, I vision all these girls showing up in their
shortest prettiest dresses and the whole room stops and they all spin around to twinkly music and people faint due to the beautimousness of us. Problem is, I have no pretty dresses. I partially solved this problem by going on Etsy.com and finding a pretty dress. But it made another problem.
It’s 325 friggin’ dollars.
I had my heart set on that dress, yo. It’s so pretty and poofy and lovely. Here’s some pictures.
But then I figured, if a chick with tattoos can make this, then why can’t I? My biffle, Julia, has a sewing machine. I can find green taffeta at Walmart or something. Problem is, I have never made a garment in my life. Ever. Actually, no, I’ve made a scarf. But since making a scarf consists of cutting a strip of fabric out of a larger piece of fabric, it doesn’t really count. Besides, it fell apart after a week. I only got to wear it once. So if anyone out there has any experience at all with dressmaking and the making of dresses, could you maybe give me some tips or something? Like how do I make the skirty thingy go all POOF and the little ruffle-wrinkle-foldy things do that on the shirt part? AND HOW DO YOU MAKE A BOW FFS.
Also I plan on making it go just above my knees, not all the way to my calves.
Because if I have a pair of combat boots by May, I plan to wear them with this dress. Otherwise I’ll wear my chucks.
If this cute kitty doesn’t convince you to give me dressmaking tips then you’re a cruel heartless bastard and I never wanted your stupid tips anyways.
But srsly bro
im srs bro