Sick=suck pt. 2: STAY AWAY FROM SLASH

Recipe for Health-ness, according to Ami

x5 fluffy blankets
x1 bigass Fresno State sweatshirt
xInfinite mugs of mint tea
x1 Mum’s iPad for blogging
x2 tylenol pills per 12 hours
x3 motrin pills per 12 hours
x1 dosage of that cough medicine that tastes like an orc’s ass
x1 Doctor Who marathon

Throw on couch. Mix until face isn’t feeling like the Land of Heat and Clockwork and throat isn’t feeling like a bunch of middle school kids thumping their feet to “We Will Rock You” continually.

*waves at Ami* Thanks for the advice. I dunno if it’s working, tho.

Boooooooooooooooored. Am going to look up slash fanfiction.

UPDATE: Omg irl friends I FOUND THE SNARRY FANFICTION. I’m gonna reread it.

UPDATE: bad idea v bad idea that was the wrong one oh god so much dick

UPDATE: gonna look at forever 21 clothes.

UPDATE: Oh the poor things. They look so cold and skinny in their shorts and bodycon skirts. Jesus Chrasss. Homegirl needs a cheeseburger.

UPDATE: 
Dear Ms. Emma Watson,
Can we please trade bodies and hair and makeup and lives and the fact that you kissed Rupert Grint multiple times and the fact that I have been kissed by my bubba.
xx Sabrina.

UPDATE: Found a fanfiction where Snape wants to shag Hermione. It’s a big club, bro. Let’s make t-shirts.

UPDATE: I’M STRAIGHT I SWEAR.

UPDATE: someone take this keyboard away from me ffs

UPDATE: As the wise and talented Barney Stinson once said, SUIT UP.

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Although I doubt he was ever in his footie pajamas when he said that.

UPDATE: I know everyone here is just like “cool story bro” so I’m gonna quit my drug-induced ramblings and go sleep. Peace.

–Sabrina

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Sick=suck

I am currently buried underneath a mound of blankets/coats/snuggly things, with room enough to poke my head through and my two FREEZING HANDS out to takatakatakatakatakatakataka on Ze Keyboard. It’s something like 70 degrees in this house. FUCK.

A lot of people like being sick because they get out of school, but really, I beg to differ. All I did both yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow is lie around whilst being buried in said blankets/coats/snuggly things that seem to travel with me wherever I wander, watch Doctor Who, and Homestuck.

AKA not much different from my normal weekend routine. Usually I enjoy my weekend routine. But you CANNOT ENJOY WEEKEND ROUTINE when you have a 102.5 fever, congestion, absolutely no appetite, and your limbs feel like they’ve been PETRIFICUS TOTALUS. Seriously. My main way of traveling through the house for the past couple days is scooting down the stairs, stumbling to the computer, and falling asleep on the way there.

&&& I watched Torchwood. I seriously got halfway Day One and then was like “wow okay lesbian makeout session” and kind of shielded my eyes and squirmed uncomfortably then paused it to make nachos, only to throw them away because I didn’t have an appetite. I didn’t continue to watch it. If you read my blog post on Kimye’s baby then you know I felt awk. Oh God andhisholylightningshootingnipples I sound like a homophobe. I’m not homophobic. As a matter of fact, 2/5 of my OTPs are involving menxmen.

MY OTPs (One True Pairingseseseses)

1. Hinny (Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter)

2. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel. Funnily enough I haven’t seen an episode of SPN with Castiel in it yet. But FANFICTION YAY)

3. Deamus (Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan)

4. Tose. Or Ren. (Rose and Doctah Numba 10)

5. PERCABETH ASDFGHJKL; (Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase R-SQUARED WHY DID YOU KICK MY BBS IN TARTARUS WHYY)

There are two kinds of people in this world. One, the Moffats and Riordans. Two, those who rock back and forth in a corner foaming at the mouth due to said Moffats and Riordans.

*injects special sanity drug. oh, and, er, tylenol/motrin aswell*

Sorry for the takatakatakatakatakataka nonsense. I’m tired so bye-bye mah babes.

P.S Resolution which-ever-I-promised-to-post-erryday isn’t working out 😦 Sorry guise.

x Sabrinaniqua Bon Qui Qui Jones

My thoughts on Kimye’s Baby

NOTE: Usually I don’t write about celebrities, mainly because unless they’re attractive male actors, I find the whole fact of following their lives completely ridonkulus. I just feel compelled to write about Kimye. I DO WHAT I WANT.

If you haven’t heard of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby, then you’ve either
a) been living under a rock for several weeks
b) deleted that information, as you need to keep your mind palace free of rubbish
or c) had an encounter with The Silence whilst reading that article on yahoo.com.

But here’s the rundown-

Kim and Kanye have been dating for like six months now. Apparently, Kanye fell in love with her around 2009-ish. But they have been dating for six months or more. I think. I searched “kimye dating” and it said it was longer than 72 days (lol). I looked more and it was six months. Yeah. Anywhosies, I woke up one morning at around noon as usual, and stumbled down the stairs, being pulled by outside forces to the computer to check if anything interesting was happening. I sat down and opened Chrome to my homepage, Yahoo, the motherland of all news stories and every life– you know what, let me draw it for you.

photo (14)

photo (15)

 

*clicks*

It was hard to make out the actual story through the haze of parody Twitter accounts and “omfggggg dey r in luv <3” Facebook posts, but from what I saw, Kanye announced the pregnancy in a way that was totally his style.

On stage.

During a concert.

Using the words “baby mama”.

Have you ever watched a television show or read a book and one of the characters does something embarrassing and you kind of feel the embarrassment they’re feeling (example: that one Hinny kiss when Ron walks in. I was like NNNOOOO)? And you kind of squirm uncomfortably and then pause it or close the book, go make yourself nachos and tell yourself that you’re weird, then go back to reading/watching and you can’t eat your delicious nachos because your stomach, hell, your whole body is like OMG AWKWARD…?

I squirmed whilst reading that post. Kanye, you make yourself out to be a ladies man. BABY MAMA??? ON STAGE??? So then, I watched the video clip (watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l6aX1D_z5jQ) of him announcing it. And then I squirmed around whilst watching. I didn’t pause it though to make nachos, because it was really short. BABY MAMA??? ON STAGE??? WITH AUTOTUNE???

Sometimes I feel like the Earth’s Common Sense levels have decreased to almost Nothing. You know how my parents announced that I was sucking on a placenta in my mum’s womanplace? On the phone, email, or in person. D’you think my dad quit playing guitar for a moment in chapel, walked up to the mic, and said “A shoutout fo ma baby MAMAAA!!” NO! Otherwise that would explain WAY too much about my family. I can imagine, ten years from now:

Kadarshikid: “Daddy, how did you announce my birth?”
Kanye: “Well, son, your Daddy was performing songs with lyrics about exploiting women and drug abuse. But he was getting a bit bored. So he decided to announce your birth by calling your Mommy by the name of ‘Baby Mama’!”
Kardashikid: “Wow cool. I’ll definitely do that with my girlfriend someday. Knock her up after six months and then call her a baby mama.”

1.5.13

 

NO. No matter how airheaded and slutty one may be, thou shalt not call impregnated partner a “baby mama”. Do you know how derogatory that term is? When someone is pregnant, say “oh, my pregnant (spouse/girlfriend/concubine)”, not BABY MAMA. Gah.

That was my first MINDSPLOSION about the Kimye baby. Then I thought “what are they gonna name it?”. Then I made a Facebook post about it.

1.5.13.2

 

And people liked it yayyyyyy.

Although lots of people say that it’s not going to work out between Kim and Kanye, I disagree. I mean, they both have the K-thing going on. They both have egos bigger than the waist size of my old softball coach. Who knows? Maybe… Something Good Can Work.  Now that’s What You Know. And me too. But hey, we’ll see before Next Year. Someday.

*ba-dum-tsss*

*stops making lameass TDCC puns*

Anyways, sorry for Bombin Da Feedz with a bunch of gobbledegook about Kimye. I just needed to write down this stuff in my head *flails*

Oh, and my friend recommended Breaking Bad to me. I didn’t exactly know the plot. Guess who wins the Epic Fail Award for watching it with her mom??

*sighs*

Anyone have any good baby names for Kimye?

x Sabrina

 

School is stupid.

Today was the first day back to school after winter break. Grr. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate school? I haven’t? Well, it’s about time. I feel like I’m talking to a wall, but at least I’m talking. Whatever. Wall, this is why I hate my school.

1. Everyone is friggin’ retarded. I swear to God, most days I feel like shouting “Beam me up, Scotty” because EVERYONE IS STUPID. And some people really can’t help it, and they try to improve upon it. I admire them for it. They’re the nice and good stupid people. But the majority of dumb people at my school seem to LIKE being dumb. Some of them are actually really smart, but they dumb themselves down. For what reason? I have no clue. It’s like, in every class, when a teacher asks a question, I and maybe two other people are the only people to raise their hands. Last year when someone asked a question, everyone raised their hands. I guess it’s “cool” to act stupid nowadays. Ugh. I can’t stand it.

2. I’m near the bottom of the social pyramid. I really can’t say this sucks. Honestly. I’ve come to terms with myself and others and I really am happy with my friends. But, as anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock for most of their lives knows, those who are losers get bullied a bit. And my school isn’t really notorious for bullying. It’s just that me and my friends get gossiped about a LOT. A lot of times we’re openly made fun of for liking Harry Potter or something else, writing or reading a lot, or not wearing makeup or a specific namebrand. Mostly by aforementioned chavs (yay british terms).

3. My teachers kind of annoy me. Not all of my teachers are half bad. Some of them are, in fact, awesome. Example: my science teacher, Mr. Hall, is a HUGE Doctor Who fan and is also an meme-freak. He’s hilarious, and even the popular kids like him. But some… aren’t. Example: my English teacher, Ms. Yachim. Let me give you a visual. Petite. Nasally voice. In her late twenties. Been out of teaching college for an upward of five minutes. Makeup that fossils could be buried in and lash extensions that would make a camel run away. She’s not my favorite. Actually, my least favorite. Ms. Yachim reminds me of some girl who’d gossip about you in the bathrooms and spread rumors about you. I don’t know if it’s me being judgmental or if anyone else feels this vibe, but it just irks me. And her voice is very annoying.

4. Weed. Everyone who falls into the Chavs or Popular Males category thinks that weed is dabomb.com. It isn’t and I’m sick of hearing you talk about your supposed “experiences” with marijuana.

5. COLOGNESPLOSION. A lot of boys believe that they can go days without showering and just spray craploads of Axe or A & F cologne to mask it. It. Doesn’t. Work. It just gives me a headache– a little bit of scent is fine, but when the hallway smells like a college basketball team opened a Hollister, it’s too much. Some guys carry around their cologne in their backpacks. Just stop. Okay? Please.

6. It isn’t Hogwarts.

7. It isn’t Camp Half-Blood.

8. It isn’t in the TARDIS.

9. HOMEWORK. GAH.

So Wall, that is why I hate my school so much.

FUNNY PICTURE OF THE DAY:

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If you don’t Homestuck, then you’re wrong.

–S