hello friendship i have returned like the lost son in that one parable of jesus and shit yeah
voldemort is coming back voldemort being me and is coming being has
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dude rupert grin tLIIKEWOAH!!
I’m sorry for not posting for a long time. Can I just post like weekly now? Okay? Yay. That takes a load offa my mind, yo.
And since I still feel bad here are some pictures of Rupert Grint.
omg me too
Shaddap misty
I love Ed Sheeran too, mkay? They should get together and make gay ginger babies.
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fangirl Fantasies.
x Sabrina
Sick=suck pt. 2: STAY AWAY FROM SLASH
Recipe for Health-ness, according to Ami–
x5 fluffy blankets
x1 bigass Fresno State sweatshirt
xInfinite mugs of mint tea
x1 Mum’s iPad for blogging
x2 tylenol pills per 12 hours
x3 motrin pills per 12 hours
x1 dosage of that cough medicine that tastes like an orc’s ass
x1 Doctor Who marathon
Throw on couch. Mix until face isn’t feeling like the Land of Heat and Clockwork and throat isn’t feeling like a bunch of middle school kids thumping their feet to “We Will Rock You” continually.
*waves at Ami* Thanks for the advice. I dunno if it’s working, tho.
Boooooooooooooooored. Am going to look up slash fanfiction.
UPDATE: Omg irl friends I FOUND THE SNARRY FANFICTION. I’m gonna reread it.
UPDATE: bad idea v bad idea that was the wrong one oh god so much dick
UPDATE: gonna look at forever 21 clothes.
UPDATE: Oh the poor things. They look so cold and skinny in their shorts and bodycon skirts. Jesus Chrasss. Homegirl needs a cheeseburger.
UPDATE:
Dear Ms. Emma Watson,
Can we please trade bodies and hair and makeup and lives and the fact that you kissed Rupert Grint multiple times and the fact that I have been kissed by my bubba.
xx Sabrina.
UPDATE: Found a fanfiction where Snape wants to shag Hermione. It’s a big club, bro. Let’s make t-shirts.
UPDATE: I’M STRAIGHT I SWEAR.
UPDATE: someone take this keyboard away from me ffs
UPDATE: As the wise and talented Barney Stinson once said, SUIT UP.
Although I doubt he was ever in his footie pajamas when he said that.
UPDATE: I know everyone here is just like “cool story bro” so I’m gonna quit my drug-induced ramblings and go sleep. Peace.
–Sabrina
Sick=suck
I am currently buried underneath a mound of blankets/coats/snuggly things, with room enough to poke my head through and my two FREEZING HANDS out to takatakatakatakatakatakataka on Ze Keyboard. It’s something like 70 degrees in this house. FUCK.
A lot of people like being sick because they get out of school, but really, I beg to differ. All I did both yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow is lie around whilst being buried in said blankets/coats/snuggly things that seem to travel with me wherever I wander, watch Doctor Who, and Homestuck.
AKA not much different from my normal weekend routine. Usually I enjoy my weekend routine. But you CANNOT ENJOY WEEKEND ROUTINE when you have a 102.5 fever, congestion, absolutely no appetite, and your limbs feel like they’ve been PETRIFICUS TOTALUS. Seriously. My main way of traveling through the house for the past couple days is scooting down the stairs, stumbling to the computer, and falling asleep on the way there.
&&& I watched Torchwood. I seriously got halfway Day One and then was like “wow okay lesbian makeout session” and kind of shielded my eyes and squirmed uncomfortably then paused it to make nachos, only to throw them away because I didn’t have an appetite. I didn’t continue to watch it. If you read my blog post on Kimye’s baby then you know I felt awk. Oh God andhisholylightningshootingnipples I sound like a homophobe. I’m not homophobic. As a matter of fact, 2/5 of my OTPs are involving menxmen.
MY OTPs (One True Pairingseseseses)
1. Hinny (Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter)
2. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel. Funnily enough I haven’t seen an episode of SPN with Castiel in it yet. But FANFICTION YAY)
3. Deamus (Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan)
4. Tose. Or Ren. (Rose and Doctah Numba 10)
5. PERCABETH ASDFGHJKL; (Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase R-SQUARED WHY DID YOU KICK MY BBS IN TARTARUS WHYY)
There are two kinds of people in this world. One, the Moffats and Riordans. Two, those who rock back and forth in a corner foaming at the mouth due to said Moffats and Riordans.
*injects special sanity drug. oh, and, er, tylenol/motrin aswell*
Sorry for the takatakatakatakatakataka nonsense. I’m tired so bye-bye mah babes.
P.S Resolution which-ever-I-promised-to-post-erryday isn’t working out 😦 Sorry guise.
x Sabrinaniqua Bon Qui Qui Jones
highschoolaphobia and other things
ACK.
So I am currently typing in science class, and I know I’m not supposed to but the sub is like “lalalalaaaaa ooh this book is really good” and I just NEED TO TYPE because the things that took place in third period today.
Said things that occurred in third period were what, you ask? Counselors from the nearest high school. With our filly-out boxes that hold the DESTINIES OF OUR YOUNG LIVES omgomgomgomg.
Okay, let’s just put this out in the open, yo. I AM NOT READY FOR HIGH SCHOOL. Okay? Good. I’m not. I’m lazy, I’m a procrastinator, and I still laugh if someone says “penis”. I’m scared to death of high school. I mean, not of seniors-and-such I don’t care what they think, buuuuuuuuuuuut the classes. I want to be put in good classes that aren’t extremely hard and are filled with my wonderful loving just-as-immature friends, and not difficult classes with bitchy girls and guys who like to slap the asses of bitchy girls. And holy fucktards homework. They say that the amount of homework they give you at the-high-school-I-am-going-to-which-I-am-taking-extreme-caution-not-to-mention-in-case-people-who-enjoy-sending-pictures-of-their-genitalia-to-unassuming-girls-are-perusing-my-blog-and-just-saying-bro-if-this-description-fits-you-then-I-command-thee-to-GTFO is enough to drive one insane. My sister is a sophomore, and is usually quite levelheaded. Nowadays, she has like, mental breakdowns NIGHTLY over homework. It’s baaaaaad. Especially because we get absolutely no homework in eighth grade. I’m gonna die. Fuck fuck fuck.
*flails*
I’m sorry for smothering everyone my lovely followers/internet friends with my real life, as it isn’t that interesting, but this is a bit big for me. It’s kind of crucial to me to do well in school. It feels a bit early to think about it, but I really want to study at NYU (art or teaching degree, i dunno which. how about both? lol), then traverse the galaxy TO PIGFARTS, then return to NYC to teach people. And er, I get in trouble if I don’t get A’s -_-
UPDATE: My fellow bloggers know of the feature where you can see where your website is being viewed. Not like exact addresses, because that, babies, is called stalking, and is frowned upon in most cultures. So I can’t send photos of my non-existent genitalia to you guys. You’re welcome. Anyways, apparently someone from Estonia likes my blog ^_^ Interestingly enough, I’m half-Estonian. *waves from ‘murica* HELLO MY BRETHREN! TERE MINU VENNAD!! Või õed. Ah, you know what I mean. And yes, I used Google Translate for that, so soz if it says “chinchilla nipples” or something. That definitely never happened when I emailed my bubba enclosed with French words I “learned” -_-
Slightly less freaked out about high school. But nonetheless freaked. Gonna go watch Sherlock and maybe write some Johnlock fluff later to calmthefuckdown. Cheers! (yay british terms)
UPDATE: Now people from Singapore are here. and omg someone looked up “leo valdez sex” and got to my blog. Uhmm.
*is hypocritical*
UPDATE: *throws popcorn at tv* JAWN SHERLOCK GAH WILL YOU TWO JUST SHAG ALREADY FFS
–Sabrina
Ode to the Internet
So I wrote this in English during a particularly boring class. Hope you enjoy.
P.S sorry for being absent for a day. I mean, if you missed me at all. I had HOMEWORK for once. Like, wtf??
Hark! I love not that of sports, tricks or games,
‘less it involves saving Peach or Zelda, the fair dames,
O Internet! O Internet!
Thine existence has consumed me
With your websites and live-streaming and cat pictures free
Blogging and smiling and ASDFGHJKL-ing
Over Loki, Valdez and Her Majesty, Jo Rowling,
Thine feel-inducing fandoms, woe, how they torture me!
Yet I and the wretched maidens always run back to thee,
for dear tumblr and Reddit and Flix of the Net
Streaming Doctor Who and Fullmetal and Johnlock-ness, let
Us wretched fangirls have a life of our own
(Though most is spent saying “STAHP, LEEV MEH ALON”)
Thine’s addicting servers hath led the browsers astray,
O Internet! You have stolen their lives away!
For the fangirls, the porn junkies, the writers of slash
their souls have been loved on, then torn into mere ash
Your memes grow old, as do your browsers,
ummmmmmmmmmmmmm… browser rhymes with Bowser?
SMD, William Shakespeare.
–Sabrina
The 5 bestest not-indie albums ever.
I have a weird taste in music.
Like, WEIRD, dude.
Take a first glance at me and you would probably guess I’m into indie. Probably because of the iPod in hand, torn jeans, hipster glasses, and t-shirt with some obscure band name on it.
Me: “Uh, YEEAH.”
Yourself: “Oh, cool, I suppose that’s the only thing you’re into, because hipsters tend to be extremely condescending when it comes to music.”
Me: “Lolno. Well, I mean, yeah, they are pretty condescending, but no, I like other stuff too.”
Yourself:
Did you know, for instance, pretty much 50 percent of the music I heard up until I was like, seven, when I discovered Disney Channel, was by Green Day? Yup. They’re one of my father’s favorite bands. In fact, I’d be lying if I said the only thing I inherited from him was his height and extreme dorkiness. I liked almost every CD he put in front of me. Green Day, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, the Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Van Halen, Rush, the Rolling Stones, and the list goes on. Then there’s new-wave rock, such as the Arctic Monkeys, the Black Keys, Cage the Elephant. A WHOLE lot of folkronic, because Grizzly Bear is LIEF. Poppy BritChicks, namely Eliza Doolittle, Kate Nash, and Ellie Goulding. I have K-Pop mixed in there too (no, NOT Gangnam Style. Jesus Christ, will people ever stop with that friggin’ song?). Old school rap (I can rap “Shame On A N***a” flawlessly). Swedish tracks, both electronic and alt rock. Dubstep. Not-dubstep-but-more-like-chillwave-and-such. Your basic Coldplay. British musicians. And indie: Phoenix, Two Door Cinema Club, the Shins, ES and the Magnetic Zeroes, Passion Pit, Vampire Weekend, the xx, you know what, you get it. Basically, I’ll listen to everything but:
a) One Direction
b) Justin Bieber
c) Country, which really is a shame, because this is the South.
And what’s even more shameful is that almost none of my friends listen to any of the music I listen to. Some of them don’t even listen to music that much. And most of them probably don’t like indie as much as I do. So, here’s my favorite not-indie albums that everyone must listen to before they die.
5)
Van Halen: 1984
I would seriously go so far as to say that this is the best Van Halen album ever. I mean, it was the first I ever listened to, but come on, I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t drummed along with the opening to “Hot For Teacher”. Van Halen is the band that made me want to play guitar. But then I realized that the best I can do is play “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. *sigh*
Favorite songs: Top Jimmy, Girl Gone Bad, Hot For Teacher, House of Pain
Rating: 3/5 llamas 
4)
Nirvana: Nevermind
It should be required by law for any and every angsty teenager, hell, every person on earth… gah. This album is a classic. You’ve got the quiet, moody tracks where Kurt Cobain is basically mumbling out words, and then the emotional rollercoasters with him, well, screaming manly-ish-like. Somehow I like it. Nevermind was a turning point for music. Everyone should listen to it.
Favorite songs: Polly, Drain You, Territorial Pissings, Lithium, Come As You Are
Rating: 3.5/5 burritos 
3)
Grizzly Bear: Veckatimest
Grizzly Bear is a band on it’s own, not unlike Nirvana. Well, actually, entirely unlike Nirvana in every way you can imagine except they both practically invented a genre of music. Folkronic- a layered, deep, folk tune bursting with all kinds of electronic elements. Veckatimest would be my favorite album by Grizzly Bear because a, the cover isn’t scary-looking, and b, it’s so much lighter and happier than their newest album, Shields, which is definitely a good pick as well. And it’s not indie. It’s FOLKRONIC.
Favorite songs: Dory, Ready Able, Two Weeks, I Live With You
Rating: 4/5 Morgan Freemans 
2)
Green Day: ¡Dos!
¡Dos! really re-ignited my love for Green Day. I was having a bit of a drag music-wise before the trilogy came out, and I feel like my music taste is a bit more fresh, if not, a bit more explicit. *shrugs* THE GUITAR IS TOTALLY WORTH EVERY CURSEWORD, MAN. All in all, I feel like this album is my favorite of the three.
Favorite songs: Ashley, Nightlife, Lady Cobra, Wow! That’s Loud, Amy
Rating: 4/5 TARDISes 
And finally…
1)
The Black Keys: El Camino
Is it because this is the first CD I ever bought? Is it because of the abundance of cars when you open it? Naw, bro. It’s Dan Auerbach’s ridiculously soulful and sexy voice. Not to mention the good lawdy jebus guitar. As the sticker on the cover says, “Play loud.”
Favorite songs: Little Black Submarines, Run Right Back, Nova Baby, Mind Eraser, Lonely Boy
Rating: 5/5 Jesuses Riding Dinosaurs
Now go in peace and listen to them bbz.
x Sabrina
I can haz dressmaking tipz pls?
Hey guise. So, there’s this thingy at the end of the year at my school called The Social. No cool title, just a great big The. I mean, you try naming it. Big Dancy Thingy Where At Least Three Girls End Up Crying In The Bathroom And Someone Spikes The Drinks? Not as catchy as The Social.
It’s like a Prom-in-training for middle schoolers. Only eighth graders, though. All the girls put on their shortest prettiest dresses and guys rent tuxedos and stuff. The whole nine yards. Only, I don’t really like to think of it as a prom-in-training, I think of it as a dancey-thingy where you just dress fancier. I look at it this way because honestly? No one will ask me to go with them. And if the stars align and the Improbability Drive is switched on and I DO manage to get a date, it will go something like this:
Me: “oh hey.”
Date: “hey. excited?”
Me: “yeeup. you?”
Date: “yeah…”
Me:
Date:
Me:
Date:
Me: “wow look at that tree. it’s quite tall.”
Date:
Me:
Date: “hey our ride’s here.”
Me: “k cool.”
So I’m just planning to grab all my single friends, hop in a van, go to the social, then McDonald’s, and then find a place to crash. And in my head, I vision all these girls showing up in their shortest prettiest dresses and the whole room stops and they all spin around to twinkly music and people faint due to the beautimousness of us. Problem is, I have no pretty dresses. I partially solved this problem by going on Etsy.com and finding a pretty dress. But it made another problem.
It’s 325 friggin’ dollars.
*sigh*
I had my heart set on that dress, yo. It’s so pretty and poofy and lovely. Here’s some pictures.
But then I figured, if a chick with tattoos can make this, then why can’t I? My biffle, Julia, has a sewing machine. I can find green taffeta at Walmart or something. Problem is, I have never made a garment in my life. Ever. Actually, no, I’ve made a scarf. But since making a scarf consists of cutting a strip of fabric out of a larger piece of fabric, it doesn’t really count. Besides, it fell apart after a week. I only got to wear it once. So if anyone out there has any experience at all with dressmaking and the making of dresses, could you maybe give me some tips or something? Like how do I make the skirty thingy go all POOF and the little ruffle-wrinkle-foldy things do that on the shirt part? AND HOW DO YOU MAKE A BOW FFS.
Also I plan on making it go just above my knees, not all the way to my calves.
Because if I have a pair of combat boots by May, I plan to wear them with this dress. Otherwise I’ll wear my chucks.
If this cute kitty doesn’t convince you to give me dressmaking tips then you’re a cruel heartless bastard and I never wanted your stupid tips anyways.
But srsly bro
im srs bro
pls
x Sabrina
I Can’t Sleep
Thing The Great Big Man in the Sky Screwed Up When He Made Me #1127: Out of the seven nights a week, I probably stay up for the duration of at least one of them. Why? I’m so naive. If you let me watch a single scary movie– it could be a Disney Channel Halloween special, I guarantee that I will not sleep that night. It doesn’t even have to be scary. It can be Casper the Friendly Ghost. I could be feeling absolutely fabulous right up until my head hits the pillow. Then I think about Casper, AND EVERY SINGLE SCARY STORY CRASHES DOWN ON ME. (Then I spend the night blogging about it.) I keep telling myself “omg Sabrina they’re fake” but even knowing they’re fake doesn’t help. Even if Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki and whoever played the Woman in White in the pilot ep of Supernatural were standing in my room, carrying a notarized document stating that the scary stories are not true, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Actually, I would probably kick anyone who isn’t Jensen Ackles out and proceed to make sure he isn’t Dean Winchester.
It’s like my brain is a toddler. And myself is the mom. And sleep is the broccoli that I’m trying to force down the kid’s throat, and the kid brain kid/brain is doing everything it can to stop it. That includes thinking about the Vashta Nerada, Slenderman, and Samara from The Ring. FUCK YOU BRAIN.
And the worst part is, I can’t like, get up and do something about it. I’ve mentioned my mum a lot in here. She has a strict policy on “bedtimes” and such. Below are The Commandments:
1. Thou shalt go to bed when Mum-Queen decides for you to do so, whether it be six pm or three am.
2. Thou shalt stay in thine’s bed until morning, AKA seven am.
3. Thou shalt not read, write, draw, play Doodle Jump, practice flute, Facebook, blog, text, watch television, or eat during designated sleep hours.
4. If thou turns on the hall light then you shall be incinerated by His Holy Lightning Shooting Nipples.
So like, if I can’t sleep, then she doesn’t just wave her hand flippantly and say “eh, don’t make much noise pls.” NO. Like, if I go to the bathroom one too many times, the woman is up the stairs, pounding on the door, like “GO TO BED, YOU LITTLE BITCHLET.” And if I’m in bed with the light on, reading, she comes up like “Why are you still up, hmm?”
Me: “Because I can’t sleep.”
Mum: “You NEED to.”
Me: *is Sheldon* “If I could, I would. But I can’t, so I shan’t.”
Mum: “THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM. You need to sit in the dark and play a game called Stareattheceilinguntilslendermanrapesandkillsyouyoufallasleep.”
Me: “NEVARR!!!”
Mum: “Then I must challenge you to… A POKEMON BATTLE!”
Me: 0_o
Me: “the fuck”
Yeaaaup. That’s usually how it goes.
Sleep is for noobs, yo.
x Sabrina
My thoughts on Kimye’s Baby
NOTE: Usually I don’t write about celebrities, mainly because unless they’re attractive male actors, I find the whole fact of following their lives completely ridonkulus. I just feel compelled to write about Kimye. I DO WHAT I WANT.
If you haven’t heard of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby, then you’ve either
a) been living under a rock for several weeks
b) deleted that information, as you need to keep your mind palace free of rubbish
or c) had an encounter with The Silence whilst reading that article on yahoo.com.
But here’s the rundown-
Kim and Kanye have been dating for like six months now. Apparently, Kanye fell in love with her around 2009-ish. But they have been dating for six months or more. I think. I searched “kimye dating” and it said it was longer than 72 days (lol). I looked more and it was six months. Yeah. Anywhosies, I woke up one morning at around noon as usual, and stumbled down the stairs, being pulled by outside forces to the computer to check if anything interesting was happening. I sat down and opened Chrome to my homepage, Yahoo, the motherland of all news stories and every life– you know what, let me draw it for you.
*clicks*
It was hard to make out the actual story through the haze of parody Twitter accounts and “omfggggg dey r in luv <3” Facebook posts, but from what I saw, Kanye announced the pregnancy in a way that was totally his style.
On stage.
During a concert.
Using the words “baby mama”.
Have you ever watched a television show or read a book and one of the characters does something embarrassing and you kind of feel the embarrassment they’re feeling (example: that one Hinny kiss when Ron walks in. I was like NNNOOOO)? And you kind of squirm uncomfortably and then pause it or close the book, go make yourself nachos and tell yourself that you’re weird, then go back to reading/watching and you can’t eat your delicious nachos because your stomach, hell, your whole body is like OMG AWKWARD…?
I squirmed whilst reading that post. Kanye, you make yourself out to be a ladies man. BABY MAMA??? ON STAGE??? So then, I watched the video clip (watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l6aX1D_z5jQ) of him announcing it. And then I squirmed around whilst watching. I didn’t pause it though to make nachos, because it was really short. BABY MAMA??? ON STAGE??? WITH AUTOTUNE???
Sometimes I feel like the Earth’s Common Sense levels have decreased to almost Nothing. You know how my parents announced that I was sucking on a placenta in my mum’s womanplace? On the phone, email, or in person. D’you think my dad quit playing guitar for a moment in chapel, walked up to the mic, and said “A shoutout fo ma baby MAMAAA!!” NO! Otherwise that would explain WAY too much about my family. I can imagine, ten years from now:
Kadarshikid: “Daddy, how did you announce my birth?”
Kanye: “Well, son, your Daddy was performing songs with lyrics about exploiting women and drug abuse. But he was getting a bit bored. So he decided to announce your birth by calling your Mommy by the name of ‘Baby Mama’!”
Kardashikid: “Wow cool. I’ll definitely do that with my girlfriend someday. Knock her up after six months and then call her a baby mama.”
NO. No matter how airheaded and slutty one may be, thou shalt not call impregnated partner a “baby mama”. Do you know how derogatory that term is? When someone is pregnant, say “oh, my pregnant (spouse/girlfriend/concubine)”, not BABY MAMA. Gah.
That was my first MINDSPLOSION about the Kimye baby. Then I thought “what are they gonna name it?”. Then I made a Facebook post about it.
And people liked it yayyyyyy.
Although lots of people say that it’s not going to work out between Kim and Kanye, I disagree. I mean, they both have the K-thing going on. They both have egos bigger than the waist size of my old softball coach. Who knows? Maybe… Something Good Can Work. Now that’s What You Know. And me too. But hey, we’ll see before Next Year. Someday.
*ba-dum-tsss*
*stops making lameass TDCC puns*
Anyways, sorry for Bombin Da Feedz with a bunch of gobbledegook about Kimye. I just needed to write down this stuff in my head *flails*
Oh, and my friend recommended Breaking Bad to me. I didn’t exactly know the plot. Guess who wins the Epic Fail Award for watching it with her mom??
*sighs*
Anyone have any good baby names for Kimye?
x Sabrina
Sabrina's Blog 